so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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