somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
