There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
