I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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