i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
