so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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