I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
