my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
