I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
