singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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