just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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