It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
