you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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