I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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