I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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