I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
