i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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