My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
