i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
