I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
