I feel great
I just peed on a car
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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