hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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