It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
