I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
420 ftw
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
