Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
