Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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