i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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