Christians are straight up FREAKS
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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