So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
