i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
