eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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