I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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