yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Less talking, more tequila
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
