I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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