Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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