In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
