You can't motorboat a personality
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Your cock deserves a montage
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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