OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
