After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
