I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I love having hate sex.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Of course I have a pirate flag
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
