thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
