he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
