who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
