Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
