So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
