If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
