This is not my ceiling
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
