i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
