U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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