Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
