Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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