I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
